Back to normality!

So I get a text saying he would be home on Thursday night, so bang goes the plan of me going to London as me, so I booked a train ticket. Later on I got a text saying he wouldn't be home until lunchtim the next day, hmmm I started thinking that I could go as me after all, but I've paid for a train ticket, so I started thinking maybe I can do it and just go, then come home and just say I was out at a friends for coffee.
So as I was still debating with myself that I'm not confident in myself to do public transport, and that if I did and it went bad then, that would knock my confidence, I got a text from my son, saying his girlfriend would be coming back with him. Dam I thought, well I was also releived, as that made me decide that I wasn't going as me. On the return journey, I received a text saying his girlfriend didn't come back after all!


So anyway, back to the session, so I was sat in the waiting area and a copy of TransLiving was on the table, so I started to browse through the magazine, and there was an article on Sparkle 2012, and as I was looking a the pictures, OMG, that's me!
The picture was in the daytime, when we was sat on the wall having a glass of wine.
I told my counselor and she looked at the picture and said I looked realy nice, which was cool, I also told her that was a real turning point for me, as it was the first real time I was out in the day, and it felt so right and I felt so much at ease, not like when I go to strange places in drab, I'm never relaxed.
So we talked about my son and my family history, I can tell you this much, counsellers could make a fortune out of me, I have some much rattling around im my head I'm suprised I can actual think of other stuff, LOL!
Anyway the session ended realy well and that I have homework todo, it's so valid and and if anyone hasn't done that themselves, I recommend it.
I basicaly have to write out a timeline of how I want events to go and what consequences that might have with regard to everyday life and family.

So if my blog goes a little quiet you know why.
My boy is back to university today, yay ;-)
That means I can get on with my voice training, those that know me, so know I need to get that under control :-)

I do have a few goals that I would like to do this month especially as I'm not going out on the town much this month, I really want to go shopping, maybe in town, definantly to one of the supermarkets, and I would like to have a girlie night in, food, gossip, and maybe a film. There is so much that I want to do now, building up my own confidence is a big issue for me, I think it's more todo with that I have to sometimes cake on the foundation a bit, and we all know less is more, but not when you have to hide that colourisation you get from facial hair, and I know I might come accross as strong, but to be honest, as my dad has put it countless times when I was growing up, "Your a big girls blouse", so being confident about going out as me and doing normal stuff is a major thing.